1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,000 Here. 2 00:00:03,680 --> 00:00:04,680 Twenty -five. 3 00:00:08,540 --> 00:00:11,560 VTR 3749, part one, take one. 4 00:00:11,940 --> 00:00:13,280 Oh, blimey, that's sexy. 5 00:00:15,380 --> 00:00:17,320 I had three auditions, you know. 6 00:01:09,310 --> 00:01:13,650 And that concludes Mr. Richard Winthorpe's talk in the series You and 7 00:01:13,650 --> 00:01:18,390 Greenhouse. Next week, Mr. Adam Hush will be telling you what to do with 8 00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:28,060 Mr. Adam Hush's talk will be the last programme in the present series, and it 9 00:01:28,060 --> 00:01:29,980 can be heard at the same time next week. 10 00:01:32,940 --> 00:01:34,320 I've missed it now, haven't I? 11 00:01:35,540 --> 00:01:37,200 What do you want to listen to that rubbish for? 12 00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:40,980 I like it. I am interested in what is happening in my greenhouse. 13 00:01:41,340 --> 00:01:43,400 I know what's happening in your greenhouse. 14 00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:44,840 Two tomatoes. 15 00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:48,360 And why? 16 00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:51,720 Because I never get a chance to listen to what the gardening expert has to say. 17 00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:52,760 It's always pop, isn't it? 18 00:01:53,050 --> 00:01:54,970 I wouldn't mind that so much if I knew what they were talking about. 19 00:01:55,230 --> 00:01:56,850 Now, it's no use arguing, Sid. 20 00:01:57,130 --> 00:01:58,250 Mike's a different generation. 21 00:01:58,690 --> 00:02:00,970 You can't expect him to be interested in growing tomatoes. 22 00:02:01,370 --> 00:02:02,690 He'd blimmin' eat them, though, didn't he? 23 00:02:02,990 --> 00:02:05,070 Oh, you're always going on about something, aren't you? 24 00:02:05,430 --> 00:02:06,650 What are you going to do, stop eating? 25 00:02:07,170 --> 00:02:09,110 You'd have to if I wasn't supporting you, wouldn't you? 26 00:02:09,350 --> 00:02:10,650 Go on, throw that in me face. 27 00:02:11,009 --> 00:02:13,310 You wouldn't complain about supporting me if I was still at school. 28 00:02:13,930 --> 00:02:15,810 School? That's different, matey. 29 00:02:16,270 --> 00:02:19,010 You were learning something there. At least we thought you were. 30 00:02:20,330 --> 00:02:23,250 If you didn't find out until later, the only reason that you left the infant was 31 00:02:23,250 --> 00:02:24,410 because you outgrew your desk. 32 00:02:24,630 --> 00:02:26,010 That's not true, sir. 33 00:02:27,650 --> 00:02:29,070 Mike's a very clever boy. 34 00:02:29,290 --> 00:02:30,310 He's very artistic. 35 00:02:31,090 --> 00:02:32,110 Artistic, my bottom. 36 00:02:33,110 --> 00:02:36,650 Oh, blimey, there's another word for laziness. Have you seen what they call 37 00:02:36,650 --> 00:02:37,549 these days? 38 00:02:37,550 --> 00:02:41,430 Cube -shaped woman with four eyes, three in the middle of her face, one in her 39 00:02:41,430 --> 00:02:44,670 navel, and her right hand poking out of her left ear hole. 40 00:02:45,900 --> 00:02:49,480 You know what they call it? Seduction. It shows the extent of the artist's 41 00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:52,260 imagination. It is some imagination to fancy that. 42 00:02:52,580 --> 00:02:56,760 Oh, that's not fair, Sid. Everybody has the right to express themselves in their 43 00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:59,560 own way. Well, why doesn't he express himself by going out to work? 44 00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:01,760 But I'm waiting for the results of my examinations. 45 00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:03,980 You'll be waiting for those results for seven weeks. 46 00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:06,320 You could have had a good job with our firm in the meantime. 47 00:03:06,980 --> 00:03:09,080 You mean go out selling things? 48 00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:11,200 Well, I go out selling things. 49 00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:16,710 Oh, but that's... Different, darling. I mean, you're a born salesman. Oh, I know 50 00:03:16,710 --> 00:03:21,610 that. I mean, you've got the ability to talk to people and... And charm people 51 00:03:21,610 --> 00:03:23,150 and... Con people. 52 00:03:25,370 --> 00:03:26,370 Con people? 53 00:03:26,710 --> 00:03:27,710 Dissuade people. 54 00:03:27,830 --> 00:03:30,550 He hasn't. He just wants to be a great artist. 55 00:03:30,990 --> 00:03:34,310 And if he works very hard, eventually he may have a one -man exhibition. 56 00:03:34,930 --> 00:03:36,290 He is a one -man exhibition. 57 00:03:37,650 --> 00:03:39,650 Look at him. Looks like a blooming gunk. 58 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:43,980 What you want to do is go down to the car factory, get yourself a job on the 59 00:03:43,980 --> 00:03:46,340 assembly line, 15 quid a week and a free air net. 60 00:03:49,660 --> 00:03:53,760 If you think that I'm going to spend the rest of my life clocking on at nine and 61 00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:57,460 off at five, you're wrong. I'm an individual. I want to do my own thing. 62 00:03:57,460 --> 00:04:00,420 I'll make money at what I'm good at. Well, you're very good at having a kip. 63 00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:03,040 You do 80 hours a week at that. 64 00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:07,120 It's no use you going on, Sid. I'm telling you, it's no use. He has got to 65 00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:10,520 job. Dad, I'm 19 and I've got the vote. 66 00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:14,020 And you don't have to worry about my problems. No? No. I can sort them out 67 00:04:14,020 --> 00:04:17,060 myself. Right. Well, first thing in the morning, you go down to the labour 68 00:04:17,060 --> 00:04:18,440 exchange. All right, I will. 69 00:04:19,279 --> 00:04:20,740 Now you've upset him. 70 00:04:21,779 --> 00:04:22,780 I've upset him? 71 00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:51,900 Listen. What? 72 00:04:52,380 --> 00:04:53,380 What was that? 73 00:04:53,500 --> 00:04:55,400 Hmm? That noise downstairs. 74 00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:57,200 What noise? 75 00:04:57,300 --> 00:04:58,440 There was a noise. 76 00:04:59,920 --> 00:05:01,840 Every night you do this. 77 00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:05,420 I keep telling you it's the budgie. 78 00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:10,840 He's got his head stuck in his bell again. 79 00:05:13,500 --> 00:05:15,080 Do you think I ought to call the police? 80 00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:18,480 What do you want to call the police for? He usually gets his own head out. 81 00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:24,120 Oh, it's not him again. 82 00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:26,720 What a night I've put in here. 83 00:05:27,020 --> 00:05:31,760 We've had his first birthday, his first love affair, his first shave. We've even 84 00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:33,460 had the first time he sat on the potty. 85 00:05:34,840 --> 00:05:36,680 Isn't it worse than this is your life? 86 00:05:36,980 --> 00:05:40,840 I can't help worrying about him. Oh, forget it. He's out with some bird or 87 00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:43,840 other. Well, what could they be doing at two o 'clock in the morning? 88 00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:46,040 With the bird? 89 00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:47,120 Playing Ludo. 90 00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:51,820 Well, if he's not back in an hour, I'm phoning the police. 91 00:05:52,490 --> 00:05:54,970 With his hair like that, you'd do better phoning the dog zone. 92 00:05:56,630 --> 00:05:57,890 It's all your fault. 93 00:05:59,070 --> 00:06:03,050 Of course it's my fault. Everything's my fault. 94 00:06:03,410 --> 00:06:07,430 It's my fault he failed his exams. It's my fault he had chicken pox. It's my 95 00:06:07,430 --> 00:06:08,490 fault he was even born. 96 00:06:09,190 --> 00:06:11,370 Well, I couldn't do that by myself, could I? 97 00:06:12,070 --> 00:06:13,070 Good night. 98 00:06:17,090 --> 00:06:19,010 You were too harsh with him. 99 00:06:20,220 --> 00:06:21,740 Oh, God, here it comes. 100 00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:26,400 You shouldn't have said what you said. He's very sensitive. 101 00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:28,500 Can I come in? 102 00:06:28,780 --> 00:06:30,720 You might as well. We're having a laugh -in. 103 00:06:32,540 --> 00:06:34,940 Oh, Mummy, what's he done to you? 104 00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:37,520 I told Michael he had to get a job. That's what. 105 00:06:37,840 --> 00:06:41,200 Daddy, do you realise that boys leave home because of this sort of thing? 106 00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:45,060 All Mike wants to do is his own thing. And you're trying to make him do 107 00:06:45,060 --> 00:06:45,979 else's thing. 108 00:06:45,980 --> 00:06:47,920 Do you mind if I do my thing and go to sleep? 109 00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:53,340 father are you? An exhausted one. 110 00:06:54,460 --> 00:06:56,060 Aren't you worried about Mike? 111 00:06:56,380 --> 00:06:57,800 Oh, blimey, he's 19. 112 00:06:58,640 --> 00:07:01,060 Anybody think he was nipping about in rompers? 113 00:07:01,540 --> 00:07:03,320 He's at a difficult age. 114 00:07:03,660 --> 00:07:04,660 So am I. 115 00:07:22,670 --> 00:07:24,290 I told you, didn't I, that he'd be all right? 116 00:07:24,530 --> 00:07:27,230 No, you didn't. Well, where are you, Mike? 117 00:07:27,550 --> 00:07:28,550 What do you think he's doing? 118 00:07:29,070 --> 00:07:31,230 Where? On in here at two o 'clock in the morning. 119 00:07:31,610 --> 00:07:32,690 Oh, yes, Mike. 120 00:07:32,950 --> 00:07:34,450 Mike. Bye, Mike. 121 00:07:35,450 --> 00:07:36,450 It was Mike. 122 00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:37,990 You're kidding. 123 00:07:38,170 --> 00:07:39,410 He's at a friend's flat. 124 00:07:39,790 --> 00:07:41,570 Ah, so that's where he takes his birds. 125 00:07:41,810 --> 00:07:43,010 He's coming home tomorrow. 126 00:07:43,370 --> 00:07:44,410 To spend the day in bed. 127 00:07:44,750 --> 00:07:45,750 For his belongings. 128 00:07:46,230 --> 00:07:47,230 Hmm? 129 00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:06,280 I mean, young people should have a crack at the world outside. 130 00:08:06,660 --> 00:08:07,660 Yes. 131 00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:10,740 Experience. That's what they need, experience. I always say that. If they 132 00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:14,100 to go, let them go. That's what I say. I expect I'll go myself soon. 133 00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:15,360 You will stay here. 134 00:08:15,940 --> 00:08:16,940 Oh, I see. 135 00:08:17,340 --> 00:08:19,860 Favoritism, is it? You want Sally, you don't want Mike. 136 00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:23,660 Well, she's a girl, isn't she? It's not the same. It's different for girls. 137 00:08:24,020 --> 00:08:27,520 I mean, she gets married, keeps house, has a dozen kids. 138 00:08:27,780 --> 00:08:30,760 What does she need experience for? To avoid all those things. 139 00:08:34,220 --> 00:08:35,820 And he decided to leave the nest. 140 00:08:36,179 --> 00:08:39,059 He isn't leaving it. He's being tipped out of it. 141 00:08:39,419 --> 00:08:40,500 Well, I didn't tell him to go. 142 00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:43,120 Now, let me see. 143 00:08:43,580 --> 00:08:48,860 Fruit, cream, butter, jam, biscuits. What else do I need? I've got a long run 144 00:08:48,860 --> 00:08:51,620 today. Maidstone. A long, long way, you know. Maidstone. 145 00:08:53,060 --> 00:08:55,200 I've had a few sandwiches that come in very handy. 146 00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:56,760 Sandwiches. Excuse me. 147 00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:05,180 Good customer, this fellow at Mason. It's a big order, this. 148 00:09:05,860 --> 00:09:07,300 7 ,000 doodle pants. 149 00:09:07,620 --> 00:09:11,540 Sally, did you get the two tomatoes from your father's greenhouse? 150 00:09:12,020 --> 00:09:13,020 Oh, yes. 151 00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:15,040 Here they are, Mum. 152 00:09:16,260 --> 00:09:17,260 Thank you. 153 00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:21,800 Oh, there you are, dear. I'm just getting your things together. Oh, thanks 154 00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:23,200 lot, Mum. Yeah, they're doing you good, son. 155 00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:25,020 Spreading your wings, leaving the nest. 156 00:09:25,260 --> 00:09:26,280 You've said that. 157 00:09:26,620 --> 00:09:27,620 Have I? Oh. 158 00:09:27,700 --> 00:09:28,960 Now, have you got everything you need? 159 00:09:29,220 --> 00:09:30,220 Yeah, thanks, Mum. 160 00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:31,400 Right. 161 00:09:31,500 --> 00:09:34,480 Look. Take this with you. It'll make a nice reminder. 162 00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:36,560 That is, if you want to be reminded. 163 00:09:37,740 --> 00:09:38,740 Here you are, Mike. 164 00:09:38,900 --> 00:09:40,320 This is my last pound. 165 00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:42,560 I was saving it for Dad's birthday. 166 00:09:42,980 --> 00:09:45,420 But you can have it. Oh, no, Sam, you keep it. 167 00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:50,040 What about the electric toaster? That'll come in handy. I like a bit of toast in 168 00:09:50,040 --> 00:09:50,499 the morning. 169 00:09:50,500 --> 00:09:53,760 You know how you like a bit of toast in the morning. It's all right, Mum, 170 00:09:53,820 --> 00:09:54,980 really. They've got one at the flat. 171 00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:57,220 Well, will you be all right, dear? Yeah, sure. 172 00:09:57,620 --> 00:09:58,720 We'll come and see you. 173 00:09:59,420 --> 00:10:00,420 Mum and I. 174 00:10:00,819 --> 00:10:04,440 Yes, well, I'd better get cracking. I've got a long way to go, a lot of work to 175 00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:05,440 do. Thanks for all the attention. 176 00:10:08,580 --> 00:10:10,660 I'll come in for my lunch when I have my dinner. 177 00:10:12,460 --> 00:10:14,000 Well, son, I'll see you then. 178 00:10:14,220 --> 00:10:15,220 Yeah. 179 00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:18,560 Well, you OK, aren't you? Yeah, OK, Dad. 180 00:10:18,900 --> 00:10:21,160 So you're off then? Yeah. 181 00:10:21,460 --> 00:10:23,760 Yeah, well, ta -ra then. Ta -ra, Dad. 182 00:10:24,780 --> 00:10:26,440 You all right for money? Yeah, fine. 183 00:10:26,820 --> 00:10:27,980 Well, anyway... 184 00:10:28,780 --> 00:10:31,820 Let me treat you to your first week's rent. No, Dad, it's all right, really. 185 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:33,120 no, take it. Go on, come in handy. 186 00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:35,020 Oh, there you go. Thanks a lot. I'll pay you back. 187 00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:36,280 Pay me back? 188 00:10:36,740 --> 00:10:40,180 I thought I wouldn't pay back. I mean, we're all here to help each other, 189 00:10:40,180 --> 00:10:42,580 we? I mean, that is what a united family is for. 190 00:10:46,140 --> 00:10:46,999 Yeah, sure. 191 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:49,180 Yes, well, ta -ra, son. Ta -ra, Dad. 192 00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:51,379 Bye -bye, Mum. 193 00:10:51,380 --> 00:10:52,339 Bye, darling. 194 00:10:52,340 --> 00:10:53,340 Don't bother to see me out. 195 00:10:53,560 --> 00:10:54,560 I'll see myself out. 196 00:10:55,340 --> 00:10:56,340 Bye, son. 197 00:10:58,830 --> 00:10:59,830 Yeah, see you. 198 00:11:01,850 --> 00:11:05,710 Yeah, well... Better get cracking. See you tonight. 199 00:11:06,010 --> 00:11:07,010 You won't see me. 200 00:11:07,410 --> 00:11:08,770 What? Eh? 201 00:11:09,650 --> 00:11:11,210 Because I won't be here. 202 00:11:11,630 --> 00:11:13,390 I'm going to stay with my friend. 203 00:11:15,710 --> 00:11:19,170 Well, that's good, isn't it? I mean, this morning we were a happy family of 204 00:11:19,170 --> 00:11:21,270 four. Now we're a family of two. One. 205 00:11:24,810 --> 00:11:27,550 Pardon? I said we're a family of one. 206 00:11:28,370 --> 00:11:29,550 Well, how do you make that out? 207 00:11:30,170 --> 00:11:31,870 Because I'm going back to my mother's. 208 00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:09,000 Well... They've gone, then? 209 00:12:09,560 --> 00:12:10,860 Yeah, all three of them. 210 00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:12,660 Well, what are you looking so miserable about? 211 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:16,560 Well, it's a bit much, isn't it? I mean, this morning I had a wife, a son and a 212 00:12:16,560 --> 00:12:18,980 daughter. All I've got now is a bleeding budgie. 213 00:12:21,380 --> 00:12:24,480 Blimey, I wish that was all I was going out with you, mate. I've got me missy, a 214 00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:28,200 mother, screaming kid and a delinquent dog. I tell you, it's all burping and 215 00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:29,220 barking in our house. 216 00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:31,040 You should worry. 217 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:35,960 I'm not worried. I know how it is. I mean, after a bit, they just take you 218 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:37,880 granted, don't they? No, no, not my lot. 219 00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:41,740 Oh, come on, see, when your Mike left home, what did Jean do, eh? Cry, did 220 00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:45,380 Tell you what a rotten father you were. No, no, nothing like that. Yeah, I bet 221 00:12:45,380 --> 00:12:46,800 she emptied a cupboard for him, didn't she? 222 00:12:47,020 --> 00:12:48,680 Packed his things, and half yours. 223 00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:51,800 Yeah, made him a blooming great lunch packet and gave you a lettuce leaf. 224 00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:56,040 Nut on your Nellie, mate, she wouldn't dare. 225 00:12:56,380 --> 00:12:57,380 Well, what did she do then? 226 00:12:57,579 --> 00:12:59,680 Packed him a bloody great lunch and gave me nothing. 227 00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:04,920 Well, that's typical, isn't it? And then they all shoved off and left you. 228 00:13:05,420 --> 00:13:08,620 Oh, they'll be back, don't worry. Of course they'll be back. Your luck can't 229 00:13:08,620 --> 00:13:09,620 last forever. 230 00:13:10,260 --> 00:13:11,260 Here, sit. 231 00:13:11,620 --> 00:13:13,940 Why don't you make the most of it? Because me and the lads are having a bit 232 00:13:13,940 --> 00:13:16,060 knees up tonight because Bob's divorce has come through. 233 00:13:16,420 --> 00:13:17,420 No, no. 234 00:13:17,480 --> 00:13:21,380 Look, we're going to this street club, you see. It's smashing. All these lovely 235 00:13:21,380 --> 00:13:24,500 birds are on a stage. No, no, I don't think so. They're wiggling their watsits 236 00:13:24,500 --> 00:13:25,500 and everything. 237 00:13:26,660 --> 00:13:27,780 I'm not in the mood, I'm sorry. 238 00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:32,080 But, Sid, there's this bird, Sid, Doris. Yeah. She comes down off the stage, 239 00:13:32,180 --> 00:13:34,040 into the audience. I'm not kidding. 240 00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:39,200 Get away. 241 00:13:39,460 --> 00:13:40,460 Are you? 242 00:13:41,620 --> 00:13:42,800 No, no, no. 243 00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:46,160 By the time I get home, it'll all be back to normal. But, look, Sid, that's 244 00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:48,400 nothing. On a good night, the tassels drop off. 245 00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:53,880 No, no, no, I know. When I get back, it'll all be waiting for me. 246 00:13:54,330 --> 00:13:56,830 The kitchen will be looking like the Dorchester Grill. 247 00:13:57,530 --> 00:14:00,450 All that lovely nosh in the oven. I can smell it now. 248 00:14:01,390 --> 00:14:02,390 Ah, yes. 249 00:14:05,510 --> 00:14:07,810 Ah, well, here we go, then. Sid's cottage pie. 250 00:14:12,530 --> 00:14:16,270 With thatched roof. 251 00:14:25,390 --> 00:14:26,410 want to go, the window's open. 252 00:14:30,350 --> 00:14:31,890 I'll help you pack your millet spray. 253 00:14:34,710 --> 00:14:35,489 She's back. 254 00:14:35,490 --> 00:14:36,490 I knew it. 255 00:14:36,930 --> 00:14:37,930 I knew it. 256 00:14:38,030 --> 00:14:39,270 Now she can make me a real one. 257 00:14:39,530 --> 00:14:40,530 Go on. 258 00:14:43,590 --> 00:14:44,590 Hello, Dad. 259 00:14:46,310 --> 00:14:47,990 Yes, I was... I've just had my dinner. 260 00:14:48,830 --> 00:14:49,850 All right? Yeah. 261 00:14:50,070 --> 00:14:50,889 Sit down. 262 00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:51,950 Hang on, hang on. 263 00:15:00,380 --> 00:15:01,380 No, thanks, Dad, no. 264 00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:02,680 It's made. No trouble. 265 00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:03,920 No. 266 00:15:04,420 --> 00:15:05,420 Where's Mum? 267 00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:09,560 Didn't you see her on the way in? No. Oh, well, she must be out. And Sally, 268 00:15:09,660 --> 00:15:10,359 where's she? 269 00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:11,540 She must be out as well. 270 00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:12,880 You're on your own, then? 271 00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:13,960 On me own? No. 272 00:15:15,060 --> 00:15:16,180 I've got the budget, haven't I? 273 00:15:17,940 --> 00:15:21,180 Yeah. Well, when are they coming back, Dad? Well, I don't know. I mean, you 274 00:15:21,180 --> 00:15:22,820 know, I had to force them to go out, you know that? 275 00:15:23,500 --> 00:15:24,860 Take a day off, I said to them. 276 00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:26,460 Well, when are they coming back? 277 00:15:26,700 --> 00:15:29,100 I mean, they've been rushing around here making me cottage pies. 278 00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:30,840 puddings and things. 279 00:15:31,260 --> 00:15:33,560 I'm full up, I am. Full up. Right up to here. 280 00:15:35,540 --> 00:15:38,360 Well, son, here we are. I mean, just you and me, eh? 281 00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:40,880 No women around to nag at us. 282 00:15:41,320 --> 00:15:43,420 You don't have to go out to find your freedom. 283 00:15:43,740 --> 00:15:45,000 It's right here on your doorstep. 284 00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:52,620 Yeah. Shall we go eat? 285 00:15:52,820 --> 00:15:54,020 No, thanks, Dad. I'm not very hungry. 286 00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:55,739 Where are you going? 287 00:15:55,740 --> 00:15:56,740 Up there. 288 00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:58,400 Oh, God. What have I done now? 289 00:15:58,760 --> 00:15:59,920 I came back to get me razor. 290 00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:01,620 Ah, I see. 291 00:16:15,060 --> 00:16:15,979 Oh, hello. 292 00:16:15,980 --> 00:16:16,980 Hello, Dad. 293 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:17,859 All right, then? 294 00:16:17,860 --> 00:16:18,839 Yeah, and you? 295 00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:19,840 Yes, yes, yes. 296 00:16:20,060 --> 00:16:21,500 I've got my gear, then. Ah, good. 297 00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:23,400 I'm just going to watch the telly. Right, I'm off. 298 00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:26,260 Oh, I see you're taking your paintings as well. 299 00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:27,580 Yeah, I thought I might as well. 300 00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:30,420 Yes, why not? Go on, yes. Good luck with that, huh? 301 00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:31,640 Yes. 302 00:16:39,100 --> 00:16:40,100 Starving, eh? 303 00:16:40,860 --> 00:16:42,800 If I'd known it was him, I wouldn't have chucked that pie away. 304 00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:47,800 Hello, Trev? 305 00:16:47,820 --> 00:16:48,820 Sid? 306 00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:50,100 Yes, I've changed my mind. 307 00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:52,320 Where do you say you're meeting the fellas? 308 00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:58,460 I thought I'd better bring him back, Mum. He looks so miserable all on his 309 00:16:58,500 --> 00:17:00,940 you know. Well, you did the right thing, Mike. Anyway, I wouldn't have stayed 310 00:17:00,940 --> 00:17:02,480 out all night. He doesn't deserve that. 311 00:17:04,099 --> 00:17:06,079 He's gone a bit mad with the aftershave, hasn't he? 312 00:17:06,339 --> 00:17:10,079 Because he knows I like it. He must have been expecting me back after all. I'll 313 00:17:10,079 --> 00:17:12,760 make a quick cup of coffee, then I'll pop up and surprise him. Mummy, 314 00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:14,520 he's not there. 315 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:16,880 Not in bed. He's not anywhere. 316 00:17:18,060 --> 00:17:20,400 But that's ridiculous. It's half past eleven. 317 00:17:21,619 --> 00:17:24,160 He wouldn't go out, would he? 318 00:17:26,439 --> 00:17:28,119 He has gone out. 319 00:17:28,860 --> 00:17:31,340 Where? Well, maybe he's just gone for a walk. 320 00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:33,080 A walk? Your father? 321 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:36,360 The longest walk he ever took was bringing the milk in. 322 00:17:36,660 --> 00:17:40,440 Well, maybe he's gone to the fish and chip shop. 323 00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:43,040 Wearing savage aftershave? 324 00:17:43,420 --> 00:17:45,060 Oh, well, he'll be back. I'd better split. 325 00:17:45,700 --> 00:17:47,600 Bye, darling. Don't worry about him. See you, darling. 326 00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:49,040 I'm not worried. 327 00:17:49,280 --> 00:17:50,280 I'm furious. 328 00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:52,520 Just think, we all leave him. 329 00:17:52,760 --> 00:17:54,580 And he hasn't even got the decency to stay in. 330 00:17:57,600 --> 00:17:59,020 Well, we might as well go to bed. 331 00:18:58,510 --> 00:18:59,510 Guy Fawkes night. 332 00:19:01,130 --> 00:19:02,890 Looking like that he'd never get home. 333 00:19:08,950 --> 00:19:10,050 What a man! 334 00:19:10,770 --> 00:19:12,430 What could he have been up to? 335 00:19:12,850 --> 00:19:14,630 We'll soon find out when he comes to. 336 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,000 At least there is one. 337 00:20:08,970 --> 00:20:10,230 freezing sleeping on your own. 338 00:20:10,690 --> 00:20:11,690 I know. 339 00:20:12,890 --> 00:20:15,570 Well, I must say, it's very nice of you getting up early and coming to see if 340 00:20:15,570 --> 00:20:17,670 I'm all right there. We came last night. 341 00:20:19,510 --> 00:20:20,510 Last night? 342 00:20:21,550 --> 00:20:22,670 You weren't here. 343 00:20:23,030 --> 00:20:24,250 Oh, yes, I was up in bed. 344 00:20:24,630 --> 00:20:27,970 Oh, no, you weren't. Oh, yes, I was. You couldn't see me, that's all. 345 00:20:28,670 --> 00:20:29,870 I've lost weight, you see. 346 00:20:31,890 --> 00:20:32,890 It's all a worry. 347 00:20:33,290 --> 00:20:36,190 You slept in the hall, on the stairs. 348 00:20:36,810 --> 00:20:37,890 Oh, that's ridiculous. 349 00:20:38,620 --> 00:20:39,880 Why should I want to sleep on the stairs? 350 00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:44,000 Because you were incapable of making it to the bedroom. 351 00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:48,160 Sally, shouldn't you be getting ready for school? I want to talk to your 352 00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:49,720 Isn't it a bit early for school? 353 00:20:49,940 --> 00:20:51,400 It's ten to nine. 354 00:20:51,620 --> 00:20:54,320 Hang on, I'll give you a lift. How did I better get dressed first? 355 00:20:56,220 --> 00:20:57,220 Right. 356 00:20:57,840 --> 00:20:59,260 What's your story, then? 357 00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:04,560 Yes, well, um... There's this fella. 358 00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:06,580 He's a very good customer, this fella. 359 00:21:06,820 --> 00:21:07,820 Spends a lot of money. 360 00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:10,100 Bought all me bulldog clips he did. 361 00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:11,600 Every one of them. 362 00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:15,440 Anyway, I looked at him and suddenly I thought, hello, he looks a bit funny, I 363 00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:19,180 thought. So I said to him, I said, here, you look a bit funny, I said. 364 00:21:19,380 --> 00:21:20,980 You mean the way you look now? 365 00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:27,440 And next thing I saw, he's flat out on the ground, he is. 366 00:21:27,980 --> 00:21:28,980 Well, go on. 367 00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:31,820 So I had to run him all the way back home to Birmingham, didn't I? 368 00:21:33,460 --> 00:21:35,140 Five hours there and back, it's good going. 369 00:21:36,300 --> 00:21:39,800 I think I ought to phone him up, see if he's all right. Hello, Steve. Oh, good. 370 00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:41,920 Hello, 371 00:21:42,220 --> 00:21:46,560 stranger. I haven't seen you for years. Well, about last night, did I? 372 00:21:48,380 --> 00:21:49,380 Yeah. 373 00:21:49,620 --> 00:21:53,060 Doris, now I'll take offence to you whispering in your ear all night. Yeah, 374 00:21:53,060 --> 00:21:54,840 well, she wanted your phone number, you see. 375 00:21:55,060 --> 00:21:59,800 Did you, er... No, no, I didn't give it to her because, er... because I didn't 376 00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:01,560 think you'd want her phoning you up all the time. 377 00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:04,360 Well, not my phone number. Did you give her a bit of the other? 378 00:22:04,660 --> 00:22:05,660 No, no, I... 379 00:22:08,490 --> 00:22:09,490 I ran out of supplies. 380 00:22:12,690 --> 00:22:15,790 You did an awful sick one. She said you lived in Birmingham. Yeah, yeah, sick 381 00:22:15,790 --> 00:22:18,930 man. Very sick man. It's very, very good going, though, see? I mean, Birmingham 382 00:22:18,930 --> 00:22:21,190 and back in five hours. Come on. 383 00:22:21,730 --> 00:22:24,810 Yeah. What did you do with your tassel? You know. 384 00:22:26,950 --> 00:22:28,390 Tassel? Yeah. Tassel? 385 00:22:28,690 --> 00:22:30,770 Yeah. I didn't have a tassel. 386 00:22:41,130 --> 00:22:42,130 Hello, Jean. 387 00:22:43,770 --> 00:22:45,590 Well, I was just saying to Sid, you know. 388 00:22:48,750 --> 00:22:52,070 What a pity it was, you know, he couldn't come out last night with me and 389 00:22:52,070 --> 00:22:53,070 lads. 390 00:22:54,310 --> 00:22:55,310 Because we had a great time. 391 00:22:57,410 --> 00:22:58,790 The vicar was asking about you. 392 00:23:03,310 --> 00:23:08,390 Yeah, well, I think I'd better go now, then, and put this back on the curtain. 393 00:23:16,170 --> 00:23:17,170 last night. 394 00:23:17,390 --> 00:23:20,450 You sold all your bulldog clips to a man called Doris. 395 00:23:21,670 --> 00:23:25,290 Birmingham and back in five hours and ended up swinging on Travis Curtin. 396 00:23:26,910 --> 00:23:31,050 Yeah, well, I know it sounds a bit odd, but I can explain it. Hello, Dad. 397 00:23:31,270 --> 00:23:34,130 You got back all right, then? Well, of course I got back. I'm here, aren't I? 398 00:23:34,210 --> 00:23:36,490 Your father's just been telling me about last night. 399 00:23:36,710 --> 00:23:38,870 Last night. Wasn't it fabulous, Dad, eh? 400 00:23:39,350 --> 00:23:41,090 Birmingham and back in five hours. 401 00:23:41,930 --> 00:23:43,510 What? With you? 402 00:23:43,930 --> 00:23:44,930 He's my dad, isn't he? 403 00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:46,640 Yes, of course I'm his dad. 404 00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:50,200 But you've just been telling me about the sick client you had to run to 405 00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:52,740 Birmingham. Well, I went with him. That's it. He come with me. 406 00:23:53,380 --> 00:23:55,420 You brought me and Sally back here. 407 00:23:55,660 --> 00:23:56,940 Yeah, right. And after that, I met Dad. 408 00:23:57,220 --> 00:23:58,380 After that. 409 00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:03,340 So who's Doris? 410 00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:05,160 Doris. 411 00:24:05,420 --> 00:24:08,440 Doris. Doris, the barmaid at the roadhouse. That's it. 412 00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:13,160 Oh, blimey, she took the fancy to you, didn't she? Well, she knew she couldn't 413 00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:14,640 crack it with you, so she had a go at me. 414 00:24:15,370 --> 00:24:16,850 Yes. Yes, well. 415 00:24:17,990 --> 00:24:21,790 There. I hope you're satisfied. I didn't want to involve the boy, but the truth 416 00:24:21,790 --> 00:24:22,790 will out. 417 00:24:26,390 --> 00:24:27,650 I don't know what to say. 418 00:24:28,090 --> 00:24:30,330 Just say you're sorry and get on with the tea, that's all. 419 00:24:30,990 --> 00:24:31,989 Yes, dear. 420 00:24:31,990 --> 00:24:32,990 Sorry, dear. All right. 421 00:24:36,510 --> 00:24:38,310 Hello, Mike. What are you doing home? 422 00:24:38,570 --> 00:24:41,230 Well, I didn't like the flat very much, you know. Does that mean you're staying? 423 00:24:41,450 --> 00:24:43,770 Yes, he's staying. Of course he's staying. Oh, great. 424 00:24:44,460 --> 00:24:45,460 That's because I'm late for school. 425 00:24:49,460 --> 00:24:51,200 Ready, Sal? Did you sort it out? 426 00:24:51,420 --> 00:24:53,600 Oh, yes, nothing to worry about. What happened? 427 00:24:54,380 --> 00:25:00,020 Well, it seems your father was working last night, and his client took sick, so 428 00:25:00,020 --> 00:25:01,640 he had to run him home to Birmingham. 429 00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:03,520 And you believe all that rubbish? 430 00:25:03,860 --> 00:25:10,060 No. But you'll learn, dear, that marriage is based on trust and 431 00:25:10,900 --> 00:25:11,900 The wife. 432 00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:16,560 Do you think Mum believed all that? 433 00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:17,880 Nah. 434 00:25:18,260 --> 00:25:22,120 But you'll learn, son, that marriage is based on trust and understanding. 435 00:25:23,060 --> 00:25:24,060 The husbands. 436 00:25:44,490 --> 00:25:45,490 Thank you.